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smackenzie: (jensen)
[personal profile] smackenzie
Breaking it off with Matt was not the most difficult conversation Jensen had had in the past eight months, but it was definitely one of the more awkward ones. Matt had seemed more baffled than upset - they weren't incompatible, things hadn't been going badly, how did Jensen know it wouldn't work? And Jensen couldn't really tell him "I know it won't work because I don't want it to, because I want someone else." He didn't exactly lie, but he couldn't tell Matt the whole truth. Matt wasn't immediately interested in just staying friends, but he didn't want to discount Jensen entirely.

Jensen wanted to tell him that he was a great guy who would meet a great guy, and he deserved better than what Jensen had given him, but it sounded lame.

Matt kissed him goodbye, and to Jensen it felt like Matt was telling him "This is what you're turning down, and let me tell you, you're gonna miss it". Which wasn't entirely wrong. Matt was a great kisser. But for all Jensen knew, Jared was too.

So that was that. He was a little relieved after it was over, and a little hopeful - for the possibility of keeping Matt as a friend as well as for his wide open relationship potential. Now he just had to figure out how to convince Jared that they were perfect for each other.

(Thinking that way made Jensen feel a little bit like a teenage girl scrawling "J&J 4ever!" in a giant heart on her notebook. Although he had as much as told Chris that Jared fed his soul....)

It was another couple of days before Danneel called to yell at him. She called his cell phone when he happened to be on shift at the coffeeshop, so he didn't even get the message until later. At the exact moment she was demanding to know what the hell he was thinking, he was wiping down the back counter and straightening the to-stay cups and saucers and the to-go cups and lids, alone up front because it was quiet and Alona was in the back room taking her break.

He was trying to reorganize the baked goods in the case when two guys came in - one tall and blond, as tall as Jared but not as wide in the shoulders, and the other shorter and baby-faced. Tall-and-blond was holding his cell phone between himself and his friend, apparently so they could both hear what the person on the other end was saying, but with the height differential the end result was probably that neither of them could understand it.

"What's 'Askars'?" Tall-and-blond was asking the phone as the two of them got close to the counter. "Where'd you get that?" Babyface chuckled, probably at Tall-and-blond's expression. Tall-and-blond handed the phone over. "You make him make sense," he said. "I'll get the coffee."

"So who would you be?" Babyface asked the person on the other end of the phone as he wandered off towards the tables. "J-what?"

"What can I get you?" Jensen asked Tall-and-blond, who was staring at the chalkboard menu.

"One double espresso and one - "

"Don't get me decaf!" Babyface called from a cluster of chairs. Tall-and-blond's lips quirked in what might be considered half a smile.

"I'm getting you a double shot, relax. And a breve for me. Also not decaf."

So Jensen made the coffees and Tall-and-blond hummed along with the song playing over the PA and unbeknownst to either of them, Danneel decided that Jensen was a fickle, fickle human being who didn't deserve to be set up with a hot guy ever again, or at least not by her.

He got the message later after he clocked out, and Danneel's blast of "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??" made him pull the phone away from his ear so as not to go temporarily deaf. He called her back. He felt pretty confident after what he considered a reasonably successful sort-of-breakup - it had helped that both he and Matt had a good sense of perspective about the whole thing, and both of them realized two weeks was nothing in the grand scheme and really, they could each walk away, no harm no foul - and felt up to the task of talking Danneel down from whatever torments she no doubt had planned.

"What is wrong with you??" she repeated, in a slightly calmer voice, when he finally managed to get her on the phone. (When she was on shift she could be really hard to track down.)

"I was thinking I met someone else," he said.

"You met someone else. Was this before or after you and Matt fucked each other's brains out?"

Jensen blushed. He was grateful she couldn't see him.

"He's such a nice guy, Jensen. He's so cute, he's smart, he's kind of a dork, he likes sushi, come on, he's got culture - "

"He's really nice, I know. I like him, I liked spending time with him - "

"You liked fucking him...."

"That too." He could feel his cheeks heat up. Was he doomed to turn red with embarrassment any time anyone brought up his sex life? Or was it just Danneel who brought this out of him? At least she hadn't mentioned Bob yet. "But... I want more than nice. I don't just want a hot guy to have sex with."

"You were doing more than having sex. You went bowling!"

Jensen sighed. "Danny. Look. I think he's a pretty cool guy. I still want to be friends. Guys can be friends. Even gay guys." Even gay guys who used to fuck, his brain helpfully added. "But. Jared - I know I told you about him - "

"Once or twice," she said.

"I like him more. You know sometimes you meet someone and you just kind of click with them? It's like that."

"Is he gay?"

"Yes," Jensen lied. Well, maybe it wasn't a complete lie. It just wasn't a truth he knew for certain.

"And you know this how?"

"I just do."

"That is the last time I try to set you up. Matt was so confused!"

So am I, Jensen wanted to say. Chris hadn't been wrong - it wasn't quite like him to do all this pursuing. He planned to go after Jared with intent. And part of him really had no idea where his sudden hunter instinct was coming from. He could guess, but he wasn't sure, and he didn't think it was permanent, and now that he thought about it, he didn't know how long it was going to last.

Better make use of it, then.

"Well don't expect sympathy from me if Jared turns out to be a bust," Danneel said.

"Don't worry, I won't." He wondered if she could see him grinning at the phone. "I knew you were going to yell at me."

"You're very smart sometimes. Other times, not so much. Are you free for dinner tomorrow? I promise not to get on your case about Matt, I just want to talk to someone who's not a medical professional, an admin, or an expecting mom. Or a med student. I need to be among civilians."

"I think so, yeah. But I don't want to talk about my love life, ok?"

"We can talk about mine. I could tell you about Bob." Jensen could hear her evil grin from the other end of the line.

"No. No Bob."

"Fine. No Bob. I'll call you tomorrow. Don't think about poor Matt pining away for your hot ass and your kissable lips and your - "

"Stop right there."

Danneel laughed. "You're so easy to rile up, Jensen. I love that about you. Even if you are a fickle boy who doesn't deserve my matchmaking ways."

"No talking about the love life, remember?"

"Whatever. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

And she hung up.

That didn't go too badly, he thought. It could've been worse, anyway. And now he could put the next part of his plan into action - the part where he tried to seduce a boy who might or might not appreciate being seduced by another guy. Going on the attack was a big enough change from Jensen's normal MO, but add to that the fact that he wasn't entirely sure how the object of his affection was going to react, and Chris was right, he really was looking to hit a brick wall.

Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained. And he'd told Matt at the sushi restaurant on their first date that anything worth having was worth working for. He really did think Jared was worth having, and he wanted to know the answer to "Is he or isn't he?" badly enough that he was willing to do something he almost never did, and make the first move.

words: 1485
total words: 29,736


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