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smackenzie"Pendejo," she practically spat. "He put it on the bouncers and the floor security guys. I told him if I heard it happened again, to anyone - boys or girls - I'd report the club to the cops for drug dealing. And I made it clear that if the Pig was closed it would hurt me too, but I was willing to risk it."
"Cool." Laurie was impressed. Lea was much better at this than he was.
He wondered if she was cool enough to not freak out over his weird-ass dream, and how did you bring that up in conversation?
"Are you sitting down?" That seemed safe enough.
"I'm in bed. I came back from taking Marshall's spoiled ass to the garage and tried to go back to sleep. I don't think it's going to happen now. Why?"
"How good are you with dream interpretation?"
"And again I ask 'why?'"
"I dreamed about Danny last night."
"So?"
"I dreamed I had sex with Danny last night."
He could hear her mouth drop and he knew she was staring disbelievingly at the phone.
"You what?" she finally said.
"Dreamed about fucking my half brother."
"Jesus Mary and Joseph, Laurie. That's probably the sickest thing you've ever said to me."
"How do you think I feel? It woke me up with a raging hard-on, too." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It means I'm a sick twisted perv, doesn't it."
"Yes!"
"Gee, thanks. You're a lot of help."
"You didn't tell Danny about that, did you?"
"Do you think I'm insane? I didn't even wake him up. I had to go into the bathroom and beat off, though, I couldn't go back to sleep." It occurred to him that anyone (like, say, his mom) listening to this conversation would be appalled at his language, and the fact that he was talking to a girl this way. But he had years of experience in talking about sex with Lea, and she had at least as filthy a mind and a mouth as he did. Possibly filthier - nothing was sacred to her. Laurie knew all about the noises Marshall made in bed and all the ways Lea could make him scream, and there were really some things that you did not have to know about your best friend's boyfriend.
"You didn't think about him while you choked the chicken. Right?" She sounded like she was half-afraid he'd even masturbated thinking about Danny.
"No. Jesus! What the hell kind of question is that? I thought about Parrish. From last night."
"Was he good?" Now Laurie could hear Lea's smirk. He wished she wouldn't smirk so loud. He'd give her details about Parrish when he had some to give.
"All fantasy lovers are spectacular, you know that. But that's not the point. Why was I dreaming about Danny? I swear in the dream I knew I was giving him the reaming of his life."
"And you never looked at his ass and drooled?"
"No."
"Not a little?"
"Do you drool on your brothers?" Laurie tried to imagine anyone drooling over Gene, Lea's oldest brother, or even looking at him and thinking about how good he'd be in the sack. Not to take anything away from Gene, because he was a good guy and a good brother and he had a wife and two kids and lived out in Houston, but he was kind of thick and wide and not really Laurie's type at all. He looked like a college football player gone to seed.
"I tell Hector he's a sexy beast all the time," Lea said matter-of-factly. "He just rolls his eyes at me."
"Do you ever wonder what they look like naked? Or how good they are in bed?"
"You're just saying that to gross me out. It's like thinking about my parents having sex." She shivered audibly.
"I'm trying to make a point." Not that he had any idea what the point WAS.... "Well, I would be if I could remember what the point was. It's weird, that's all. I've never had a wet dream about my half brother. Especially not when he was in bed next to me!" He took a deep breath and forcibly calmed himself down. Sometimes talking things out with Lea got him more excited, rather than less. "Ok, look at it this way - say last night you dreamed about fucking Hector. Hector fucking you, whatever. And you LIKED IT. Both of you. What does that mean?"
"It means I'm warped little girl and you need to get laid." Now she was going to be rational and flippant on him. Great. It didn't help.
"Why'd I do it?" he demanded. He could hear Lea collect her thoughts. She'd known him long enough to have figured out when enough was enough and when she should stop teasing him and start trying to work through his problem.
"You probably dreamed about Danny because you were worried about him," she said, "so you were thinking about him. He was the most important thing in your brain. That's easy. I don't know why you were dreaming about sex with him, though. Maybe because that's the next step in his sexual development and you're worried about him finding someone who'll make it good for him. I don't know."
"That kind of makes sense. At least I am kinda worried about him actually fucking some boy - I don't want him to have a really horrible experience, I want him to like it. And gay boys that age? Good at jerking themselves off, not so great with someone else." And he spoke from his own experiences, which hadn't been completely horrible but were certainly nothing to write home about. Well, some of them had been horrible, just because neither he nor the other boy knew what they were doing or how to make it good. If Laurie hadn't know sex was supposed to be better than that, and if he hadn't figured out it was one of those things that probably got better and more enjoyable the more times you did it, he might've given up on boys and tried girls. He didn't want Danny to have to suffer the same things he'd had to suffer. Wasn't that the point of being an older brother, so you could steer your younger bro away from the potholes?
"What are you thinking?" Lea asked, and Laurie realized he'd been quiet a little too long.
"Gay sex. I want it to be good for Danny."
"You said that."
"I know. I was thinking about some of the stuff I did when I started having sex. I mean, I got some really bad blowjobs. I couldn't give them either. So yeah, I was probably thinking about Danny's first time, since I figured he'd gotten over the kissing thing. We saw him with that boy, even before the asshole tried to drug him. But Jesus, why did I dream about me being his first?"
"Transference? I don't know."
"Is it one of those things where you're not really dreaming about what you're dreaming about?"
"What? What does that sentence mean?"
"You know how they say when you dream about flying you're really dreaming about sex? And when you dream about someone you're really dreaming about someone else?"
"Yeah...."
"Maybe I wasn't dreaming about fucking Danny at all. I was dreaming about, I don't know, beating up the next mechanic who fucks with my bike. Or I was really dreaming about flying somewhere."
"Or you were really dreaming about sex. I have no idea, Laurie. I'm a scientist, I like to listen to dead people. I don't think you should worry too much about it, though. Not unless it happens again."
"If it happens again I'm gonna see a shrink. That's not natural."
"Says the boy who dated twins who were fucking each other as well as him."
"You remember that, huh."
"Yeah, I remember that. I never told you I fantasized about them together, did I."
"You didn't. Tell me that, I mean." Laurie wasn't as appalled as he thought he should be. He wasn't even too upset to think that Lea might have fantasized about him in there with the twins. He certainly wouldn't deny that they could've made some decent home pornos, the three of them.
"A couple times I thought about them kissing each other."
"Just kissing?" Now it was Laurie's turn to tease, and on the other end of the phone Lea chuckled.
"Remember Parker, the botanist? We went out on two dates, and after the second date, or during the second date, we went back to his place to make out, and the whole time we're getting sloppy on the couch I was thinking about your twins and what they'd be doing to each other. God, they were hot together. You were stupid to break up."
"We were never a couple, for one thing, we were just fuckbuddies. And the twin thing was great, except for the incest component. I got kind of wigged after a while watching them suck each other off."
"I wouldn't. Dios mio."
"Why, Leandra Hayden," Laurie said, faking astonishment, "I never knew you had a thing for gay twins."
"Surprise. I like gay boys." Oh, she was definitely smirking now. She sounded serious, though. The things you learned about your friends. "Don't worry about your dream. The mind's a weird place. You never know what kind of crap it's gonna dig out in the middle of the night. Just as long as Danny wasn't dreaming about fucking you too."
"He seemed normal this morning."
"He probably was normal this morning. Just chill. It'll be fine. How come I'm the one telling you to relax? You're supposed to be Mr Zen."
"I've had a weird week. Is there a full moon or something? 'Cause that would explain a lot."
"I think it's just a moon. You're working tonight, right?"
"Yeah, I have the dinner shift. Joy." Although he really didn't mind - dinner usually brought him bigger tips than lunch, and diners were the same no matter what shift you served them. The restaurant had a new hostess who would probably screw up every way it was possible for a new hostess to screw up, and chances were someone would make his life difficult, but he was used to it by now. Besides, working dinner meant he had some time during the day to practice, and to call Parrish, and then to think about Parrish. He didn't feel right thinking dirty thoughts at work - the hard-on could be hard to disguise. The waiters tied their aprons so close to their bodies that any excitement in the boyparts caused the apron to tent disproportionately, and that was unprofessional and really embarrassing.
"So I shouldn't call you if I get bored, huh?"
"You can call, but I'm not going to be able to talk to you. My cell will just ring and ring and confuse anyone who happens to be in the break room. Those lockers are great for amplifying sound."
"Neat." Lea yawned loud enough for Laurie to hear over the phone. "Either I need coffee or I should try to go back to sleep for a little bit. I'm happy Danny's ok and I wish I could've introduced his drugged self to that stupid manager. Might've gotten him to listen to me. Fucktard."
"Go back to sleep. I'm going to try and call Parrish now, see if we can make a date."
"Ooh, a date. Got some things to finish, do you?" There was that smirk again, although it sounded a lot like an innuendo-laden grin.
"A couple, yeah. Someone who will remain nameless but looks a lot like you interrupted us. And he took Danny home in his car, so I owe him a thanks. I hope he doesn't mind that I'm calling him at work. He did give me the number...."
"Just don't distract him too much. Not everyone can get by at work just by looking cute, you know. Some of us actually have to do things. Be productive. Produce results."
"Isn't that what 'productive' means?" Now he grinned into the phone.
"Wiseass."
"And the tightest ass you'll ever see. I promise not to be too distracting, at least not on purpose." Now if Parrish wanted to lock his office door - assuming he had an office door he could lock for privacy - and if they wanted to, uh, talk, Laurie wasn't going to argue. "Go back to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay. Be nice to him."
"Parrish? I'm always nice to the cute boys."
"Uh-huh. Bye, Laurie."
"Bye, crazy girl." And they hung up.
Laurie felt a little better about his very wrong dream. He'd decided to believe Lea that he'd dreamed about that particular activity with that particular person because they were foremost in his mind, and he'd decided to believe himself that he wasn't really dreaming about fucking his half brother - those were just symbols for something completely unrelated. He'd had to talk it through with someone to get to that point, though, and Lea was really the only person he trusted with the inner workings of his clearly sex-addled brain.
Speaking of sex and addling, he hoped Parrish was near his phone, and not at a meeting or on a coffee break or something. He'd never even asked what the guy did for a living. He had no idea where Parrish worked. He'd find out, though, wouldn't he.
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"Cool." Laurie was impressed. Lea was much better at this than he was.
He wondered if she was cool enough to not freak out over his weird-ass dream, and how did you bring that up in conversation?
"Are you sitting down?" That seemed safe enough.
"I'm in bed. I came back from taking Marshall's spoiled ass to the garage and tried to go back to sleep. I don't think it's going to happen now. Why?"
"How good are you with dream interpretation?"
"And again I ask 'why?'"
"I dreamed about Danny last night."
"So?"
"I dreamed I had sex with Danny last night."
He could hear her mouth drop and he knew she was staring disbelievingly at the phone.
"You what?" she finally said.
"Dreamed about fucking my half brother."
"Jesus Mary and Joseph, Laurie. That's probably the sickest thing you've ever said to me."
"How do you think I feel? It woke me up with a raging hard-on, too." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It means I'm a sick twisted perv, doesn't it."
"Yes!"
"Gee, thanks. You're a lot of help."
"You didn't tell Danny about that, did you?"
"Do you think I'm insane? I didn't even wake him up. I had to go into the bathroom and beat off, though, I couldn't go back to sleep." It occurred to him that anyone (like, say, his mom) listening to this conversation would be appalled at his language, and the fact that he was talking to a girl this way. But he had years of experience in talking about sex with Lea, and she had at least as filthy a mind and a mouth as he did. Possibly filthier - nothing was sacred to her. Laurie knew all about the noises Marshall made in bed and all the ways Lea could make him scream, and there were really some things that you did not have to know about your best friend's boyfriend.
"You didn't think about him while you choked the chicken. Right?" She sounded like she was half-afraid he'd even masturbated thinking about Danny.
"No. Jesus! What the hell kind of question is that? I thought about Parrish. From last night."
"Was he good?" Now Laurie could hear Lea's smirk. He wished she wouldn't smirk so loud. He'd give her details about Parrish when he had some to give.
"All fantasy lovers are spectacular, you know that. But that's not the point. Why was I dreaming about Danny? I swear in the dream I knew I was giving him the reaming of his life."
"And you never looked at his ass and drooled?"
"No."
"Not a little?"
"Do you drool on your brothers?" Laurie tried to imagine anyone drooling over Gene, Lea's oldest brother, or even looking at him and thinking about how good he'd be in the sack. Not to take anything away from Gene, because he was a good guy and a good brother and he had a wife and two kids and lived out in Houston, but he was kind of thick and wide and not really Laurie's type at all. He looked like a college football player gone to seed.
"I tell Hector he's a sexy beast all the time," Lea said matter-of-factly. "He just rolls his eyes at me."
"Do you ever wonder what they look like naked? Or how good they are in bed?"
"You're just saying that to gross me out. It's like thinking about my parents having sex." She shivered audibly.
"I'm trying to make a point." Not that he had any idea what the point WAS.... "Well, I would be if I could remember what the point was. It's weird, that's all. I've never had a wet dream about my half brother. Especially not when he was in bed next to me!" He took a deep breath and forcibly calmed himself down. Sometimes talking things out with Lea got him more excited, rather than less. "Ok, look at it this way - say last night you dreamed about fucking Hector. Hector fucking you, whatever. And you LIKED IT. Both of you. What does that mean?"
"It means I'm warped little girl and you need to get laid." Now she was going to be rational and flippant on him. Great. It didn't help.
"Why'd I do it?" he demanded. He could hear Lea collect her thoughts. She'd known him long enough to have figured out when enough was enough and when she should stop teasing him and start trying to work through his problem.
"You probably dreamed about Danny because you were worried about him," she said, "so you were thinking about him. He was the most important thing in your brain. That's easy. I don't know why you were dreaming about sex with him, though. Maybe because that's the next step in his sexual development and you're worried about him finding someone who'll make it good for him. I don't know."
"That kind of makes sense. At least I am kinda worried about him actually fucking some boy - I don't want him to have a really horrible experience, I want him to like it. And gay boys that age? Good at jerking themselves off, not so great with someone else." And he spoke from his own experiences, which hadn't been completely horrible but were certainly nothing to write home about. Well, some of them had been horrible, just because neither he nor the other boy knew what they were doing or how to make it good. If Laurie hadn't know sex was supposed to be better than that, and if he hadn't figured out it was one of those things that probably got better and more enjoyable the more times you did it, he might've given up on boys and tried girls. He didn't want Danny to have to suffer the same things he'd had to suffer. Wasn't that the point of being an older brother, so you could steer your younger bro away from the potholes?
"What are you thinking?" Lea asked, and Laurie realized he'd been quiet a little too long.
"Gay sex. I want it to be good for Danny."
"You said that."
"I know. I was thinking about some of the stuff I did when I started having sex. I mean, I got some really bad blowjobs. I couldn't give them either. So yeah, I was probably thinking about Danny's first time, since I figured he'd gotten over the kissing thing. We saw him with that boy, even before the asshole tried to drug him. But Jesus, why did I dream about me being his first?"
"Transference? I don't know."
"Is it one of those things where you're not really dreaming about what you're dreaming about?"
"What? What does that sentence mean?"
"You know how they say when you dream about flying you're really dreaming about sex? And when you dream about someone you're really dreaming about someone else?"
"Yeah...."
"Maybe I wasn't dreaming about fucking Danny at all. I was dreaming about, I don't know, beating up the next mechanic who fucks with my bike. Or I was really dreaming about flying somewhere."
"Or you were really dreaming about sex. I have no idea, Laurie. I'm a scientist, I like to listen to dead people. I don't think you should worry too much about it, though. Not unless it happens again."
"If it happens again I'm gonna see a shrink. That's not natural."
"Says the boy who dated twins who were fucking each other as well as him."
"You remember that, huh."
"Yeah, I remember that. I never told you I fantasized about them together, did I."
"You didn't. Tell me that, I mean." Laurie wasn't as appalled as he thought he should be. He wasn't even too upset to think that Lea might have fantasized about him in there with the twins. He certainly wouldn't deny that they could've made some decent home pornos, the three of them.
"A couple times I thought about them kissing each other."
"Just kissing?" Now it was Laurie's turn to tease, and on the other end of the phone Lea chuckled.
"Remember Parker, the botanist? We went out on two dates, and after the second date, or during the second date, we went back to his place to make out, and the whole time we're getting sloppy on the couch I was thinking about your twins and what they'd be doing to each other. God, they were hot together. You were stupid to break up."
"We were never a couple, for one thing, we were just fuckbuddies. And the twin thing was great, except for the incest component. I got kind of wigged after a while watching them suck each other off."
"I wouldn't. Dios mio."
"Why, Leandra Hayden," Laurie said, faking astonishment, "I never knew you had a thing for gay twins."
"Surprise. I like gay boys." Oh, she was definitely smirking now. She sounded serious, though. The things you learned about your friends. "Don't worry about your dream. The mind's a weird place. You never know what kind of crap it's gonna dig out in the middle of the night. Just as long as Danny wasn't dreaming about fucking you too."
"He seemed normal this morning."
"He probably was normal this morning. Just chill. It'll be fine. How come I'm the one telling you to relax? You're supposed to be Mr Zen."
"I've had a weird week. Is there a full moon or something? 'Cause that would explain a lot."
"I think it's just a moon. You're working tonight, right?"
"Yeah, I have the dinner shift. Joy." Although he really didn't mind - dinner usually brought him bigger tips than lunch, and diners were the same no matter what shift you served them. The restaurant had a new hostess who would probably screw up every way it was possible for a new hostess to screw up, and chances were someone would make his life difficult, but he was used to it by now. Besides, working dinner meant he had some time during the day to practice, and to call Parrish, and then to think about Parrish. He didn't feel right thinking dirty thoughts at work - the hard-on could be hard to disguise. The waiters tied their aprons so close to their bodies that any excitement in the boyparts caused the apron to tent disproportionately, and that was unprofessional and really embarrassing.
"So I shouldn't call you if I get bored, huh?"
"You can call, but I'm not going to be able to talk to you. My cell will just ring and ring and confuse anyone who happens to be in the break room. Those lockers are great for amplifying sound."
"Neat." Lea yawned loud enough for Laurie to hear over the phone. "Either I need coffee or I should try to go back to sleep for a little bit. I'm happy Danny's ok and I wish I could've introduced his drugged self to that stupid manager. Might've gotten him to listen to me. Fucktard."
"Go back to sleep. I'm going to try and call Parrish now, see if we can make a date."
"Ooh, a date. Got some things to finish, do you?" There was that smirk again, although it sounded a lot like an innuendo-laden grin.
"A couple, yeah. Someone who will remain nameless but looks a lot like you interrupted us. And he took Danny home in his car, so I owe him a thanks. I hope he doesn't mind that I'm calling him at work. He did give me the number...."
"Just don't distract him too much. Not everyone can get by at work just by looking cute, you know. Some of us actually have to do things. Be productive. Produce results."
"Isn't that what 'productive' means?" Now he grinned into the phone.
"Wiseass."
"And the tightest ass you'll ever see. I promise not to be too distracting, at least not on purpose." Now if Parrish wanted to lock his office door - assuming he had an office door he could lock for privacy - and if they wanted to, uh, talk, Laurie wasn't going to argue. "Go back to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay. Be nice to him."
"Parrish? I'm always nice to the cute boys."
"Uh-huh. Bye, Laurie."
"Bye, crazy girl." And they hung up.
Laurie felt a little better about his very wrong dream. He'd decided to believe Lea that he'd dreamed about that particular activity with that particular person because they were foremost in his mind, and he'd decided to believe himself that he wasn't really dreaming about fucking his half brother - those were just symbols for something completely unrelated. He'd had to talk it through with someone to get to that point, though, and Lea was really the only person he trusted with the inner workings of his clearly sex-addled brain.
Speaking of sex and addling, he hoped Parrish was near his phone, and not at a meeting or on a coffee break or something. He'd never even asked what the guy did for a living. He had no idea where Parrish worked. He'd find out, though, wouldn't he.
words: 2185
total words: 29,325
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-11-12 09:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-11-13 12:21 pm (UTC)