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smackenzieRainaut walks over and takes the friar’s arm. Brother Peire walks with him down the road and away from Montagui and the Gray Friars because what other choice does he have? His whole life has just been taken away from him, and for better or ill, Rainaut is the only friend he has.
The sun is low in the sky although it's not yet dusk, and back in the friary the friars are no doubt finishing up their work from the afternoon and preparing for dinner. Brother Peire guesses they might be talking about him, but he can't guess what they might be saying. He hopes at least some of them don't believe that he could genuinely entertain heretical thoughts, that the abbot was misguided in suggesting he would seriously consider apostasy. Brother Gueri knows him, does he not? They've been visiting Sers Aelinor and praying with her for weeks now, and how could Brother Peire do that if he was going to deny everything that the friars had taught him? How could he visit with an old lady and lead the afternoon service for her, if he didn't believe in it?
"It will be good to sleep in a bed again," Rainaut says as they walk. "We have guest quarters where you can stay until we find more permanent quarters for you. I've been told they're very nice."
"I slept in a dormitory," Brother Peire says. "With my – with the - " He drops the rest of the sentence abruptly.
"We have a dorm as well, if you think you'd be more comfortable in it. It's not very big, but there should be some empty places."
"Where do you sleep?"
"I have a cell. Very small, just a bed and a stool and a small brazier when it's cold. I'll show you when we get there."
The heretic community has settled in a small abandoned monastery about an hour's walk from the city gates, and the sun is setting by the time Rainaut and Brother Peire reach the wall surrounding it. The front gate is open, with a bell hanging just inside. Rainaut rings it as they walk through, a loud clanging that brings people and a couple of dogs running, the dogs barking and the people exclaiming with surprise and excitement.
Rainaut lets them surround him. Brother Peire is startled - this is more of a crowd, and more exuberant of a crowd, than he's used to and a part of him wants to run, although where he would go, he has no idea. But Rainaut is still holding on to him and he has no choice but to let the crowd of chattering heretics surround him.
How can anyone think these people are dangerous? he wonders. They're no different from any other loud and excited group of people.
There's a dog sniffing around the bottom of his robe and Rainaut is introducing him to the people gathered around and telling them that he'd like a little peace and quiet, go on to the dusk service, we'll join you for dinner after.
Brother Peire is pretty sure that everyone leaves them alone because it's time for prayer, and he starts to follow the crowd unconsciously.
"Do you want to worship at a heretic service?" Rainaut asks him, grinning.
I want to go back to my friary, Brother Peire thinks, and worship with my brother friars. But how can he say that? That road is closed to him now.
But Rainaut must see it on his face, because he asks "Are you sure?" and when Brother Peire nods, he says "Then we'll go worship at a heretic service."
So they follow everyone else to what used to be the monastery church and which has now been given over to apostasy. It's larger than the Gray Friars' chapel but smaller than some of Montagui's churches, and there is indeed an eternal lamp hanging just inside the door. Its existence makes Brother Peire feel slightly more at home.
He and Rainaut sit near the back, and there are some things that are familiar about the service and some things that are not, chief among them the middle-aged woman leading the worship. She gives a sermon with some commentary on an obscure passage of scripture, people nodding or shaking their heads and occasionally murmuring either agreement or a counter theory. Brother Peire tries to listen to them as well, wondering why anyone would comment on a sermon as it's being given. It seems disrespectful to the leader of the service and disrespectful to their scholarship. Congregants are supposed to be quiet during the service, unless it's time to sing or to chant in unison.
He looks around, curious, noting that there is still colored glass in the tall windows down the length of the church and in the big round window high up the far wall behind the altar. He doesn't know what the monks had painted on the far wall, if they'd painted anything, but now the wall is covered with flowers and trees and vines and what looks like sheaves of wheat. Do the heretics have a prohibition against painting people?
One or two children and a couple of adults turn to stare at him during the service, but by and large the heretics seem to be intent on their worship, and very sincere. Brother Peire tries to immerse himself in the singing and chanting, and because there are some prayers he knows in forms he recognizes, he finds himself chanting along with the rest of the congregation, feeling almost at home in a very strange place. But then a word will be different, or the tune will change, and he trails off, lost again.
He has never in his life wanted to leave a house of worship in the middle of a service, but he wants to leave now. This isn't his place. These aren't his people. He wants to go back to Montagui so badly that the only reason he doesn't get up in the middle of a psalm and leave is because he still has enough respect for the house of God to think that it would be rude.
Rainaut puts a hand on his arm. Brother Peire assumes it's meant to comfort him, and he guesses he might be comforted – Rainaut is really the only consistently familiar thing here – but it's not enough.
After the service everyone heads to the refectory for dinner. They sit on long benches and pass platters and bowls up and down the tables – bread, mixed vegetables, a little cheese. It's like dinner at the friary, except for the presence of women and children and, briefly, a cat winding its way around the legs of the bench. Brother Peire eats his bread, drinks the water coming around the table in heavy pottery pitchers, waves off the beer. Friars are allowed to drink beer, and wine on festival occasions, but if the water in a friary well is drinkable plain, that's what they're supposed to drink at meals. He assumes this water is acceptable, or children wouldn't be drinking it.
The people sitting around him and Rainaut ask questions and give him odd looks, but he can tell they're more curious than anything else. Under other circumstances, he'd be curious about them too. Isn't that what brought him to Rainaut in the first place – curiosity?
The thing that brought him to Rainaut and ultimately brought him here.
It's only Brother Peire's manners and years of obedience to the will of God and the greater community that keep him in his seat. He doesn't want to be here. He has nowhere else to go, but he doesn't want to be here.
Whoever's sitting on Rainaut's other side says something to him, but all Brother Peire hears is Rainaut's response - "Be nice."
There's a short prayer after dinner and then people disperse - "To study, to read, to help clean up," Rainaut explains, and then "What did you think?"
"About what?" Brother Peire asks. "The service? Dinner? Your, your community? It's not what I'm used to."
"I was hoping you'd find some comfort in it anyway."
"I can't. Your liturgy is too different. It's, it's blasphemy, some of the things you changed. It's not for men to rewrite God's words."
"Men and women." Rainaut grins.
"Even worse. I don't want to argue with you. I want to go home." He doesn't have the energy to beg, or plead, or even pretend to sound like man in control of his own life.
"This is home, my brother," Rainaut says gently. "At least for now."
"I'm not your brother. I'm not a, a – I was kicked out of my order. Released from my vows. I can't claim the title any more."
They're the only people left in the refectory, aside from a couple of young men who are clearing plates and bowls and pitchers from the table. Brother Peire wants to go back to the church, to pray in his own words to his own God, but he's too tired and too heartsick to stand.
"I have an idea," Rainaut says. "Come with me." He stands and holds out his hand to Brother Peire, who takes it and lets Rainaut pull him to his feet and into the kitchen. Rainaut tells him to wait by a rough but very clean worktable, and then goes over to a woman washing plates in a basin. He says something to her that Brother Peire can't hear. She leaves her basin, pours beer in a cup, and mixes some things into it. She gives it to Rainaut, who brings it over to Brother Peire. Brother Peire just looks at it.
"What - " he starts to say.
"Drink it," Rainaut tells him. "It will help you sleep."
"I'm not going to sleep in the kitchen."
"I know. You're going to sleep in my cell."
"But - "
"I don't think you're going to like the guest quarters. I mean I think you might like them, but they're for guests, so comparatively luxurious. You never struck me as a man who could really sleep among luxury. Besides, if you're in my cell I can wake you for the midnight service."
"Is it like the dusk service?"
"Yes and no. Different prayers, different things we say to God. I don't know what you'll recognize, but if you can stand to worship with heretics again, I'll wake you."
Brother Peire looks at the cup dubiously.
"Drink," Rainaut says again. "I'm doing my best imitation of a physician – the least you can do is pretend to be a good patient."
Brother Peire drinks it. The beer is very fermented and he can feel the bubbles in his nose. He sneezes.
"God bless you," says the woman at the basin. There's now a stack of clean plates on the table next to her. She heaves the basin off the table, staggers to an open window, and dumps the water outside. She puts the empty basin back on the table, says "I hope you feel welcome," to Brother Peire, and walks past him and out the door.
"Now bed," Rainaut instructs him, taking the cup and putting it in the basin before leading Brother Peire out of the kitchen.
They walk around the building and into a large cloister with a well in the center. There are people walking around the covered colonnade. Brother Peire tries to ignore them, but he can hear their murmuring as he and Rainaut pass.
words: 1903
total words: 17,639
The sun is low in the sky although it's not yet dusk, and back in the friary the friars are no doubt finishing up their work from the afternoon and preparing for dinner. Brother Peire guesses they might be talking about him, but he can't guess what they might be saying. He hopes at least some of them don't believe that he could genuinely entertain heretical thoughts, that the abbot was misguided in suggesting he would seriously consider apostasy. Brother Gueri knows him, does he not? They've been visiting Sers Aelinor and praying with her for weeks now, and how could Brother Peire do that if he was going to deny everything that the friars had taught him? How could he visit with an old lady and lead the afternoon service for her, if he didn't believe in it?
"It will be good to sleep in a bed again," Rainaut says as they walk. "We have guest quarters where you can stay until we find more permanent quarters for you. I've been told they're very nice."
"I slept in a dormitory," Brother Peire says. "With my – with the - " He drops the rest of the sentence abruptly.
"We have a dorm as well, if you think you'd be more comfortable in it. It's not very big, but there should be some empty places."
"Where do you sleep?"
"I have a cell. Very small, just a bed and a stool and a small brazier when it's cold. I'll show you when we get there."
The heretic community has settled in a small abandoned monastery about an hour's walk from the city gates, and the sun is setting by the time Rainaut and Brother Peire reach the wall surrounding it. The front gate is open, with a bell hanging just inside. Rainaut rings it as they walk through, a loud clanging that brings people and a couple of dogs running, the dogs barking and the people exclaiming with surprise and excitement.
Rainaut lets them surround him. Brother Peire is startled - this is more of a crowd, and more exuberant of a crowd, than he's used to and a part of him wants to run, although where he would go, he has no idea. But Rainaut is still holding on to him and he has no choice but to let the crowd of chattering heretics surround him.
How can anyone think these people are dangerous? he wonders. They're no different from any other loud and excited group of people.
There's a dog sniffing around the bottom of his robe and Rainaut is introducing him to the people gathered around and telling them that he'd like a little peace and quiet, go on to the dusk service, we'll join you for dinner after.
Brother Peire is pretty sure that everyone leaves them alone because it's time for prayer, and he starts to follow the crowd unconsciously.
"Do you want to worship at a heretic service?" Rainaut asks him, grinning.
I want to go back to my friary, Brother Peire thinks, and worship with my brother friars. But how can he say that? That road is closed to him now.
But Rainaut must see it on his face, because he asks "Are you sure?" and when Brother Peire nods, he says "Then we'll go worship at a heretic service."
So they follow everyone else to what used to be the monastery church and which has now been given over to apostasy. It's larger than the Gray Friars' chapel but smaller than some of Montagui's churches, and there is indeed an eternal lamp hanging just inside the door. Its existence makes Brother Peire feel slightly more at home.
He and Rainaut sit near the back, and there are some things that are familiar about the service and some things that are not, chief among them the middle-aged woman leading the worship. She gives a sermon with some commentary on an obscure passage of scripture, people nodding or shaking their heads and occasionally murmuring either agreement or a counter theory. Brother Peire tries to listen to them as well, wondering why anyone would comment on a sermon as it's being given. It seems disrespectful to the leader of the service and disrespectful to their scholarship. Congregants are supposed to be quiet during the service, unless it's time to sing or to chant in unison.
He looks around, curious, noting that there is still colored glass in the tall windows down the length of the church and in the big round window high up the far wall behind the altar. He doesn't know what the monks had painted on the far wall, if they'd painted anything, but now the wall is covered with flowers and trees and vines and what looks like sheaves of wheat. Do the heretics have a prohibition against painting people?
One or two children and a couple of adults turn to stare at him during the service, but by and large the heretics seem to be intent on their worship, and very sincere. Brother Peire tries to immerse himself in the singing and chanting, and because there are some prayers he knows in forms he recognizes, he finds himself chanting along with the rest of the congregation, feeling almost at home in a very strange place. But then a word will be different, or the tune will change, and he trails off, lost again.
He has never in his life wanted to leave a house of worship in the middle of a service, but he wants to leave now. This isn't his place. These aren't his people. He wants to go back to Montagui so badly that the only reason he doesn't get up in the middle of a psalm and leave is because he still has enough respect for the house of God to think that it would be rude.
Rainaut puts a hand on his arm. Brother Peire assumes it's meant to comfort him, and he guesses he might be comforted – Rainaut is really the only consistently familiar thing here – but it's not enough.
After the service everyone heads to the refectory for dinner. They sit on long benches and pass platters and bowls up and down the tables – bread, mixed vegetables, a little cheese. It's like dinner at the friary, except for the presence of women and children and, briefly, a cat winding its way around the legs of the bench. Brother Peire eats his bread, drinks the water coming around the table in heavy pottery pitchers, waves off the beer. Friars are allowed to drink beer, and wine on festival occasions, but if the water in a friary well is drinkable plain, that's what they're supposed to drink at meals. He assumes this water is acceptable, or children wouldn't be drinking it.
The people sitting around him and Rainaut ask questions and give him odd looks, but he can tell they're more curious than anything else. Under other circumstances, he'd be curious about them too. Isn't that what brought him to Rainaut in the first place – curiosity?
The thing that brought him to Rainaut and ultimately brought him here.
It's only Brother Peire's manners and years of obedience to the will of God and the greater community that keep him in his seat. He doesn't want to be here. He has nowhere else to go, but he doesn't want to be here.
Whoever's sitting on Rainaut's other side says something to him, but all Brother Peire hears is Rainaut's response - "Be nice."
There's a short prayer after dinner and then people disperse - "To study, to read, to help clean up," Rainaut explains, and then "What did you think?"
"About what?" Brother Peire asks. "The service? Dinner? Your, your community? It's not what I'm used to."
"I was hoping you'd find some comfort in it anyway."
"I can't. Your liturgy is too different. It's, it's blasphemy, some of the things you changed. It's not for men to rewrite God's words."
"Men and women." Rainaut grins.
"Even worse. I don't want to argue with you. I want to go home." He doesn't have the energy to beg, or plead, or even pretend to sound like man in control of his own life.
"This is home, my brother," Rainaut says gently. "At least for now."
"I'm not your brother. I'm not a, a – I was kicked out of my order. Released from my vows. I can't claim the title any more."
They're the only people left in the refectory, aside from a couple of young men who are clearing plates and bowls and pitchers from the table. Brother Peire wants to go back to the church, to pray in his own words to his own God, but he's too tired and too heartsick to stand.
"I have an idea," Rainaut says. "Come with me." He stands and holds out his hand to Brother Peire, who takes it and lets Rainaut pull him to his feet and into the kitchen. Rainaut tells him to wait by a rough but very clean worktable, and then goes over to a woman washing plates in a basin. He says something to her that Brother Peire can't hear. She leaves her basin, pours beer in a cup, and mixes some things into it. She gives it to Rainaut, who brings it over to Brother Peire. Brother Peire just looks at it.
"What - " he starts to say.
"Drink it," Rainaut tells him. "It will help you sleep."
"I'm not going to sleep in the kitchen."
"I know. You're going to sleep in my cell."
"But - "
"I don't think you're going to like the guest quarters. I mean I think you might like them, but they're for guests, so comparatively luxurious. You never struck me as a man who could really sleep among luxury. Besides, if you're in my cell I can wake you for the midnight service."
"Is it like the dusk service?"
"Yes and no. Different prayers, different things we say to God. I don't know what you'll recognize, but if you can stand to worship with heretics again, I'll wake you."
Brother Peire looks at the cup dubiously.
"Drink," Rainaut says again. "I'm doing my best imitation of a physician – the least you can do is pretend to be a good patient."
Brother Peire drinks it. The beer is very fermented and he can feel the bubbles in his nose. He sneezes.
"God bless you," says the woman at the basin. There's now a stack of clean plates on the table next to her. She heaves the basin off the table, staggers to an open window, and dumps the water outside. She puts the empty basin back on the table, says "I hope you feel welcome," to Brother Peire, and walks past him and out the door.
"Now bed," Rainaut instructs him, taking the cup and putting it in the basin before leading Brother Peire out of the kitchen.
They walk around the building and into a large cloister with a well in the center. There are people walking around the covered colonnade. Brother Peire tries to ignore them, but he can hear their murmuring as he and Rainaut pass.
words: 1903
total words: 17,639
