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Nov. 18th, 2016 06:29 pm
smackenzie: (faye)
[personal profile] smackenzie
"Well," she finally said, "what's the worst thing that can happen? They'll tell me I'm breaking my grandmother's heart. My mother will remind me that she and my father want grandchildren. They'll tell me they worry about me. They'll try and give me guilt. But they can't make me stay."

"Can you bring someone with you?" Alistair asked. "As a date."

"I can't bring you."

"Why not? People tell me I'm personable."

She couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.

"Do you really think I can get away with bringing a man I'm sleeping with but not really dating to my friend's wedding? I'd cause a minor scandal just by staying in a hotel." Alistair looked as if he was about to say something, and Sadie continued with "We cannot stay with my parents. They won't put you up."

"I'll stay at a hotel and you stay with your parents."

"Alistair, I appreciate the offer but I can't take you with me." She leaned against the wall and sighed. "I should just make my bridesmaid dress and stop worrying about it."

Rose had said she had a pattern in mind for the bridesmaid's dresses, and she'd bring it by the apartment along with a swatch of the fabric she wanted. A month and a half should be more than enough time to make the dress, she'd said. A month and a half should also be enough time to come to terms with the fact that Sadie had changed, and had liked the changes, but no one else at home would.

Well, what could she do? She'd square her shoulders and lift her chin and give them the person she was now, not the person she used to be or the person they wanted her to be. She loved her parents but coming into her own was more important to her than pleasing them.

And the person she was now had taken up the most casual of relationships with her upstairs neighbor, who was wiping his plate with a piece of bread and and licking chicken grease off his fingers. Sadie smiled a little, watching him. He looked a little sheepish.

"I know, I have terrible manners," he said. "Thank you for feeding me. It was delicious."

"It was a little dry. Come downstairs and I'll make you some tea and we can have cake."

He brought the plate and silverware down, since they were hers, and she made tea and cut wedges of the chocolate cake she'd baked yesterday and they sat at the dining room table and Alistair talked about the stories he was writing, the realistic plots and characterizations that he put in his plays rather than the highly modern and metaphorical imagery he liked for his poetry, and Sadie talked about her work and the new fabrics that Victor was getting in his warehouse.

Sadie didn't know if she wanted Alistair to stay or not, and he answered the question by sliding up behind her as she washed the dessert plates and putting his arms around her waist. He pressed his face into her shoulder. She made a sudden decision.

"I'll ask Rose if I can bring someone to the wedding," she said, rinsing soap off the plates and putting them in the dish drainer. "If she says yes, you can come with me. We'll cause a scandal and my parents might stop talking to me."

"I don't want to do that to you," he murmured into her sweater. "But I did offer."

"You did." She ruffled his hair with her wet hand. "Rose might say no to me, because she knows I'm not seeing anyone."

"You're not seeing me?"

"Not the way she'd mean it." She tried to turn around and he lifted his head and loosened his arms enough to let her. She looked up at him. He looked very serious. "Is this 'seeing someone'?" she asked. "I feed you, you sleep with me?"

"What would you call it?"

"Casual." She wrapped her arms around his waist. She couldn't tell him that he couldn't be forever, because he didn't share her religion or her background, and she couldn't tell him in all honesty that she'd ever thought they were dating, not the way Rose and Mr Rockland had been dating before they became engaged, or even the way Victor and his nice young man were dating. "Is that ok? What did you think?"

"I think that I like reading to you, and I like being fed." He smiled. "I like kissing you. I think you're beautiful naked. You want your own life, don't you? You don't want to be tied to a man."

"Does that bother you?" It was an honest question, asked because she didn't want to hurt him. He shrugged, then shook his head.

"I would continue to read you my poetry and listen to you talk about your clothes and eat your cooking and kiss your mouth and fuck you in every position imaginable as long as you'll let me. I know you slept with Carroll after you modeled for him. I don't care. If I were to sleep with, oh, Gigi, or Frederika, would you care?"

"If you slept with my roommate I'd be annoyed. But no, you can have Frederika if she wants you. I never thought this, whatever we have, was permanent, but I'm having fun with it. With you." She tightened her arms around him. "Don't go back upstairs just yet."

"Is that an invitation, Miss Sadie?"

"I do believe it is, Mr Alistair."

He bent his head and kissed her, pulling her close as he did so. He cupped the back of her head with one hand as the kiss went on and on, as they paused to breathe before their lips met again, as they stood in front of the sink and tasted each other's mouths and nibbled on each other's lips.

He wasn't forever and he couldn't be, and if she was honest with herself Sadie didn't want him to be. She hoped that wouldn't hurt him. She thought she should feel a little shame that it wasn't going to hurt her.

But she didn't feel any shame. Not for their relationship, such as it was, not for the impermanence of it, not for the casualness of it, not for the fact that she wouldn't be distraught when they finally ended it.

And she certainly didn't feel any shame when he lifted her onto the counter, or when she wrapped her legs around his waist and cupped his ass with both hands. She wished men's underwear was less complicated, so she could open his trousers and pull out his cock, so she could slide off her panties and pull him inside her.

She did however squeeze his ass as she pressed the kiss deeper. He moaned softly into her mouth.

"Someday I want to fuck you outside," he murmured into her mouth. "On the grass, under the stars."

"I didn't know you were such a romantic," she said, smiling.

"It comes out from time to time." He smiled back and suddenly stepped away, extricating himself from her hands and her thighs until she was reaching for nothing. He took both of her hands and pulled lightly. She took the hint and hopped off the counter and led him into her room. She glanced into the parlor as they passed, wondering what it would be like to have sex on the sofa. Would they be able to lie down? Would she have to ride him? Would he bend her over one of the arms? Would she ever be able to sit on it again?

She turned on the light in her room, shut the door, and pulled at his sweater. It was old and a muted gray-green that matched his eyes, but most importantly, it was warm and in the winter he was always cold. Not enough meat on your bones, Sadie had told him when he complained.

He let her undress him and then repaid the favor, until they were standing there in their underclothes, Sadie shivering a little now that she was practically naked. She knew Alistair thought she was beautiful under her clothes, but he looked silly in his union suit, long-sleeved for the winter and only a shade darker than his skin. As she watched, he unbuttoned it, stepped out of it, and climbed under her blankets. He snuggled under the covers and patted the pillow, so Sadie slipped out of her camisole and her brassiere and her panties and climbed in next to him.

"Why is it always warmer in your house?" he asked her.

"We're closer to the boiler?" she suggested. "We keep the heat on higher? I don't know." She rubbed her nose against his. "I'll warm you up, don't worry."

His answer - of course - was to kiss her, a slow, deep kiss that she could melt into. She pressed close, threw a leg over his thigh, and sighed into his mouth. His kiss was loose but his hold on her was tight, and in short order they'd rolled so she was on her back and he was laid out on top of her, heavier than she would have thought from looking at him, her foot rubbing up and down the back of his leg. The blankets were pulled up to his shoulders, but she felt them slide down his back as he moved so he could enter her.

"Ahhh," he breathed as he settled. He dipped his head and brushed his lips across hers. She tried to pull the blankets back up to cover the both of them. It was warm and cozy in the bed, Alistair on top of her, filling her, his hips moving almost leisurely and his eyes on her face.

She was glad she'd left the light on. She liked being able to see him. He never said much during sex, so she would watch his face to see how close he was, if he wanted her to do something else, if he gave any clues as to whether or not he wanted her to talk. But she took her cues from him, so they were usually pretty quiet. She thought the neighbors would appreciate that, if nothing else.

When the weather was warmer, she thought now, or some night when they were both tipsy and careless, they'd try a different position that didn't require them to hide under the blankets. Now that she'd considered the sofa, she almost wanted to have sex on it. Somehow. Someday. She caught herself thinking about the union suit and wondering how she could make underwear that would be easier to get into, if she could fashion something so that Alistair wouldn't even have to take all his clothes off.

She thought she'd like to ride him while he was still mostly clothed. He could have fucked her there in the kitchen, while she was sitting on the counter, if his cock were easier to get to.

"You look like you're thinking," he said, his voice a little breathless as he rocked against her.

"I am," she said. "I'm going to make you underwear that's easier to get into."


"So you don't have a union suit to take off. So you can fuck me half-dressed."

"Oh." He flushed, presumably allowing himself to think about what that would look like, or feel like, how quickly they could get to each other if he only had to undo his fly and reach into his pants.

She realized what she'd said, the words she'd used, and chuckled. She really had changed, hadn't she. She really was free of her old ways of thinking and doing.

He wrapped his arms around her head and kissed her, his hips plunging deep inside her, and she moaned into his mouth. She wrapped her legs tight around his waist and rose to meet her as he slammed into her, the two of them now rocking the bed hard enough to knock it against the wall. Alistair lifted his head, no doubt so he could breathe, and Sadie grabbed his ass with both hands and tried to pull him in deeper as he grunted and thrust faster and faster, until he finally groaned and shivered and was still.

He pressed his forehead to hers and murmured "Give me a minute." She brushed her hand through his hair.

Eventually he lifted his head and pulled out and rolled off her, lying on his side as his fingers slid down her stomach and between her thighs and inside her. She sucked in a breath. He started to rub and stroke, long bony fingers curling inside her and making her whimper with surprise and pleasure. She pushed against his hand and bit her lip and stared at him, his skin still a little flushed and his eyes dark and steady on her face.

He ducked his head and flicked his tongue at her nipple, then bit it gently. She moaned. He sucked at her breast, rubbing her nipple with his tongue the way he fingers rubbed inside her. She was hot and wet and trembling and she could feel it the way she sometimes did, her orgasm starting in her belly and making her muscles jump.

"Shh," he murmured against her skin. She hadn't realized she'd said anything. He lifted his head from her breast and licked his lips, and still his fingers moved, rubbing harder and harder and pulling her out of herself until she was practically crying, and there, right there, she went stiff as it washed over her and left her shaky and breathless.

Alistair pulled his fingers away, wiped them on her thigh, and kissed her lightly. "I wasn't sure I could do that," he said quietly.

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